Finding Joy After Loss: Making New Memories at Disney World

Picking up Where our Disney Story Left Off

Hello world!  Disney World with my daughter…I left off with us entering the hotel room, after I gave the history of Disney and why it was and is still so special to me.

Read Part One of our mother-daughter Disney World Trip here: https://juliedigitalcreation.online/mother-daughter-disney-trip-after-loss/

This mother-daughter Disney World trip became about so much more than rides and vacation memories. It became part of finding joy after loss, learning how to make new memories while honoring the old ones, and discovering that grief and happiness really can exist in the same day.

Our First Night at Universal CityWalk

That night was sweet.  We made plans to get ready and head out to City Walk in Universal, Orlando.  My daughter loves it there.  Every time we go to Orlando, we go to City Walk.  She loves the atmosphere and the restaurants. We always go to that Chocolate Emporium place; except this time she wanted to go to VooDoo Donuts.  I won’t get into my personal opinions on that place, but I went along with her because I love her and I know she enjoys the donuts there.  We ate at CowFish because she loves sushi.  I don’t eat it and if I do, it’s not legitimately sushi because the fish must be cooked for my taste.  I deal with a fear called Emetophobia and have all my life, so I’m very particular about what I eat.  I did discover crab Rangoon dip and it was the best thing I ate that night!  We visited a couple of night spots there and even did a little dancing, which was incredible and, once again, weird.  I’m at City Walk in a dance club, dancing, and single.  This is my life…

Life after losing a spouse.

The next day we had breakfast in the hotel.  We stayed at Cabana Bay in Universal.  We stayed there last year when we went to Epic Universe and she loved it.  I want her to go where she has the most fun.  That’s a story to tell because it involves another person in my life whom I haven’t discussed yet and that is an entire series on its own. 

Making New Memories at Magic Kingdom

On our first day, we went to Magic Kingdom.  It was a beautiful day! We went at the end of March so the weather was warm, but not too hot.  Our first stop was to go to Space Mountain so we headed out for Tomorrow Land, but our timing was perfect because we were able to catch the parade, which was spectacular!  We were pretty close to the castle and had a great view!  The colors are always so vibrant and the music always makes me feel happy. How can it not? 

When Old Memories Meet New Ones

Tomorrow Land is loaded with tons of memories for me.  My mom rode the People Mover with my sister when she was a child, and then later, with my daughter and Bill (because he couldn’t ride roller coasters due to his neck) while my dad and I rode together. Space Mountain is a bit painful for me and I couldn’t stop thinking about my dad the entire time.  Of course, my daughter and I had plenty of distractions by getting bumped constantly by the children waiting in line behind us, who were constantly moving around, sitting on the handrails and trying to inch forward.  Kind of annoying.  My daughter and I had plenty of looks both with each other and gave a few to them after bumping into us quite a few times. We always seem to run into this! Hahaha

After Space Mountain, she and I walked out and I saw something I had never seen before, Tron, the roller coaster!! Are you kidding???? Wow!! I had no idea that it was completed and yes, we rode it and yes, we had so much fun!!!  The line was incredibly long but it was well worth it!  The music is spectacular and we rode it again at night before we left.

Grief Can Show Up in the Happiest Places

I got through the day fairly well.  I had moments of tearing up seeing couples holding hands.  I broke down and cried when we ate dinner at Pecos Bill.  We ate there so many times with my family.  My daughter was so understanding. She held my hand while I cried at the table.  She knew I was in pain.  Here I was sitting with my daughter at this table and in this place that I once sat when she was 4 years old with Bill, who is no longer here, my dad, who is no longer here, and my whole family who is not close to me anymore.  What happened to all those people?  This is my life…

Watching Other People Have What I Once Had

Earlier that day, we rode It’s a Small World.  We were seated behind a young family.  A husband and wife with three children were seated together.  The husband and wife had a child seated between them. I observed them talking so sweetly with each other, like they were good friends.  I felt envious.  I lost that.  I thought I had it again, but I lost that too.  It brought on so many emotions.  And I thought, how many people watched Bill and I, and our family and thought, “I once had that.”  I think about this all the time now.  I’m now the person watching other people have what I once had.

At some point on our trip, we were riding the bus, and we were seated next to another family.  A husband, wife, 2 boys and a young daughter.  I had similar thoughts.  Their world is so different than mine.  They are young, married…together on vacation.  That part of my life is in the past.  It’s done.  Bill is not coming back.

Finding Joy After Loss Doesn’t Mean Forgetting

Please forgive me for sounding so sad, but it is.  It’s sad.  It doesn’t feel good.  But you know, I heard something today.  A video popped up in my YouTube suggested videos.  It was titled “How to Weaponize the Worst Day of Your Life.”  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4p5Cu1DqkU&t=53sHe said, the day that you got up, ate something you didn’t taste, went somewhere you didn’t want to be, came home and watched three hours of something you won’t remember, THAT day, is the day that’s destroying you.  At least the day when everything fell apart, you felt something.  I’ll never compare any day to the day that Bill left here, but I will say that these days?  These sad and glorious days…I feel something. As long as I feel something, I’m alive! I’m alive for the LORD, for my daughter, my mom, my business, for my purpose, for the people I know and love. 

I Will Live

That day didn’t ruin me.  I won’t let it.  I will go through the hard feelings, the sadness, the pain and I will push through it.  I will use it.  I will learn from it.  I will grow.  I will live! 

I will live to go back to make many more memories with my beautiful daughter at Disney World, Universal and any adventures GOD will allow us to take!  We will make new memories after loss, her dad, my husband. Our trip was truly wonderful, even with the pain.  I spent time with her.  We ate churros together.  Churros with chocolate sauce that inevitably ended up on my bright cotton candy pink shirt that I couldn’t wash off.  That was annoying, but I’m laughing about it now.  Next time I will wear a napkin as a bib. 

Making New Memories With My Daughter

Besides, we must go back to ride the Guardians of the Galaxy ride and Ratatouille in Epcot Center.  We need two days at Epcot!  Those rides are epic! I cannot explain the Guardians ride.  It is so different and so much fun.  If you ever get the opportunity to go to Epcot, you must ride this ride!  Lord willing, we will go back and next time, I’ll be that much stronger!

I’m learning that finding joy after loss isn’t a betrayal of the life I had. It’s part of learning how to live the life God has given me now.

As always, thank you for stopping by!  I love writing here, sharing my life.  I pray it helps you.  I pray it encourages you.  I pray it lets you know, you’re not alone, both in experience and because Jesus is near to those who are brokenhearted and hurting.  He hurt and He suffered loss…He knows.

Until next time my friends! 

Love,
Julie at Lost.Loved.Found. xoxoxoxo